FINDING HOME
Home is something that we all long for and very few ever find, truly.
Some people like me, have always known a place that they define as home.
Others spend their entire lives searching for it.
For me, the concept of home has expanded and now has multiple layers and textures.
Most importantly, there is the feeling of coming home to ourselves: of moving beyond the culturally constructed judgments and criticisms to a point where finally we are comfortable in our own skin. This feeling of being ‘home in myself’ is something that I am only now coming to embody.
As a small child, I inhabited this sense of ‘personal home’ more than at any time in my life, before I learned to forget who I was and don the mask of social acceptability. Yet this forgetting is an important part of our tests. Unless we come to know the discomfort and alienation of being away from the home within, we wouldn’t truly understand or appreciate finding it again when we return.
To feel at home in our bodies, minds, and souls, I believe we need to have acknowledged the deep intelligence of our hearts that quietly tells us in every moment of every day that we are enough, that we are beautiful and that we are loved.
It may sound like a cliché, yet when we are able to hear these inner messages that are given to us in myriad ways through the natural magic and synchronicity of life, then we are truly home – wherever we are.
Our sense of safety, well-being and joy comes from deep within our own sense of self-love and self-confidence rather than from any outer source of acknowledgement or success.
To fully come home to ourselves is a lifetime’s journey and yet one that we can commit to in every moment when we show a willingness to become our own lover.
Then there is the home we find in certain geographic places on the earth.
Some of us, like me, know where these places are from the moment we are born.
Others spend their lifetime searching for ‘their place’.
For those of us who know where home is, yet find themselves distanced from it, experience a deep sense of loss and separation.
Five years ago, I was blessed that the land I had longed for my whole life finally called me home.
With the help of my amazing husband, I followed my intuition and the whispers of the Universe to discover that the image of the Colorado mountains I had carried in my heart for 30+ years actually existed in material form and was waiting for me.
In 2016, we bought an incredible piece of land in Colorado and for 2 years, I sat on it and dreamed.
I spoke to the stone people and the winged ones.
I slept on the earth and listened to the creative surges that she sent to me.
And then I was gifted with an architect and an old childhood friend to build me a home.
So now I have come home in the outer world.
And I live a blessed and miraculous life here every day.
But in order to do so, first I had to come to peace within.
I had to see that like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, I was always, already home.
Home really is where our hearts reside.
It is where we rest and come into balance and harmony with the Universe around us.
So now even though my mountain holds me home, I have many homes.
My home is in the arms of my family and my loved ones.
My home is in the branches of the tree people who love me.
My home in in my sleep and dreams as I remember my soul.
So, are you ready to come home?
To cease your wandering in the outer world and remember that the door and a warm fire is always waiting for you.
Come home with me.
Right now.
In this moment.
Breathe into your heart.
And you will find yourself there.