THE MEDICINE OF SAMENESS
This week has delivered to me some huge lessons in humility.
Because each time conflict or challenging emotions have arisen in my space, I have seen that I am the source.
Sounds odd I know, but it’s far too easy these days to look outside of ourselves at the person, place or situation and blame them for our inner turmoil or dissatisfaction.
Humans do it all the time.
Because we have been taught to defend ourselves (and therefore our stories) against ‘external threats’.
But why do we feel the need to defend in the first place?
In the last week I have heard several people around me say something along the lines of ‘we live in a world of duality’. On the surface of things this would appear to be true but if we stop for a moment and consider what we know around the quantum interconnection of all molecules (and therefore things in form), this is one massive, fat, super-sized illusion.
Then why is it that we insist on living from this story as if it was real?
Perhaps there is a payoff to living this story. In that when we live in a story of separation we feel important.
Self-important to be exact.
Our persona and identity are often built around polarity and separation.
Me, as different, unique, better than, superior to……the other. Whether that’s a person, a culture, a business or life in general.
Of course this separation can also work the other way too.
Our identity can also make us feel less than, different, an outsider to whatever we are seeing as outside of us.
But is any of that actually true?
Of course it is.
But only because we choose to make it so.
Years ago when I was learning NLP, I remember taking a class on narrative filters. We were exploring the various patterns of thinking that created the neurological patterns we manifested in our life experiences. One pattern that was striking to me was that of similarity vs. difference.
I am inherently a similarity person. I am always looking for connections, patterns and how I relate to ‘the other’ in the world. I look for unity way before I look for difference. Yet this pattern is still rare in our world. If you are reading this, then you may find you have this pattern too.
But most of us growing up in anything resembling what has historically been known as the ‘civilised world’ are taught through the lens of competition and comparison to be ‘difference people’ from a very young age.
We are hypnotised into looking for how we can be better than, stronger than, more capable than those around us in order to survive and achieve success in our cultural narrative.
And this is the very thing that causes us mental, emotional and soulful anguish as we mature into adults always seeking the opposite.
Is it not true that each of us longs for –
Peace is the natural by-product of connection.
Peace is the energy that comes when we step out of the illusion of separation and into the living quantum reality of our molecular unity with all of life.
We are all made of stardust as Carl Sagan said.
We are all made of the same molecules of life.
If we accept this core unity of molecular form as true then it has profound implications for how we view our identity and sense of self.
How can we maintain a story of difference above anything more than superficial when we know our inherent unity with all around us?
Living in true unity means that we can no longer be superior or better than.
We can seek to find personal truth and live that.
We can set boundaries and discover what integrity means to us.
We can embrace radical diversity of form and experience, honouring each person and place as a sacred expression of molecular life in play.
But I am not sure whether we can maintain a story of difference beyond the superficial.
So this leads me back to my humility this week.
This week I have been shouted at, blamed, projected upon, challenged and bullied. I have seen pain, anger, frustration and overwhelm in various forms from various people.
But instead of blaming them for making me feel like a victim, I have chosen to smile gently, acknowledge their pain, have compassion for their story and yet not accept it as my own.
I am in their world and yet not if it.
I can feel empathy for their pain but not take it into my body and mind, accepting it into the molecules of my own story.
I don’t have to.
My choice is to live in unity.
To live in conscious peace.
To command the molecules of my life to align to my values of sameness and connection.
Perhaps you could call this holding space.
Or you could also call it love.
This week I am being love.
Soft, quiet, peace-filled love.
The kind that doesn’t have to talk.
But will bite when needed.
The kind that empathises but does not absorb.
The kind that knows molecules are sacred.
And respond to our stories.
We are each a web of interconnection.
Perhaps it’s time we started to embrace the medicine of sameness instead of difference.