Right now I am feeling emotionally carved open.


Several things in my life are converging to orchestrate a complete melting and restorying of my purpose, identity and future path. Rather than being disorientated, I learned many years ago to surrender to this process of metamorphosis. It is a natural part of living on a constantly evolving planet, in a constantly evolving Universe. The quicker I let go of human control, the more ease and insight the transformation brings.


However, this is often easier said that done and there are side effects!

  • An ever-present sense of curiosity / anxiety (I oscillate between these states on an hourly basis) about the future and who I will be when I emerge from this rebirth.
  • Vivid dreams and broken sleep patterns – I am awake in the middle of the night, most nights, contemplating the dreams and messages from my unconscious mind.
  • My nervous system feels like it’s raw and being re-wired with new currents of energy and awareness.
  • My eating patterns are constantly changing and I cycle between ravenous consumption and disinterested fasting.


Any of this sound familiar to you? Our modern social story often labels these traits as ‘stress’. But what if it’s more than that?


What if we can learn to embrace these periods of breakdown in our lives as the very catalysts and fabric of breakthrough?


What if my raging emotions are actually my friend rather than sapping my energy? In fact, the message bearers of a new chapter of sensitivity and awareness in my life?


In order to restory this excruciating process from one of pain to liberation, I know that I need to engage with it fully. This can’t be half-arsed or skipped through too fast. The emotions that wake me gasping from intense dreams in the middle of the night are the very things that need to be faced and investigated in order to find the clues to my emerging breakthrough.


Like a dark churning pool in a moonlit cave, my emotions swirl, inviting me to dive into their abyss and seek the treasure that lies at the bottom of their story.


In the dark of the night when I can’t breathe – can I go there?

What lays in the darkness of my psyche?

Am I brave enough to see everything I have been denying?


Interestingly, last night I did.

I stripped off the clothes of my old identity and narrative and dived naked into the pool of my emotions.


I swam down through narrative layers seeing the haunting faces of all my old beliefs about myself.


What did I discover?

Pretty ‘normal’ stuff actually.

Certainly no raging dragons or demons.


Self-loathing, self-criticism, victimhood, my wounded child.

Judgments, perceived failures, rejection, criticism, abuse.


Real, raw humanity.


Everyone has it.

It is the raw material of conscious transformation.


I laughed.

Then I awoke.


The words of Richard Rudd from the Gene Keys rang in my ears as I climbed out of the swirling pool, a golden key of new awareness in my hands.


“Allow, accept, embrace”.

See and it will heal.

Dive in and fear will melt.

Awareness dawns.

Stories are transformed.

Fears liberated.


Nothing is as bad as we might expect?

It never is.


Will you really go there?

Dive down beyond the superficial?


Time to let go.

Go beyond your human stories – because they restrict you.

Allow your emotional discomfort to lead you deeper.

Accept that you are human and share these transformative rights of passage with 7 billion other souls on the planet right now.

Embrace your new story.


Find your soul.

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