This week yet again I am dealing with death.

But I am also welcoming life.


The two paradoxical concepts seem ever more merged as we move beyond the old stories of duality and separation in our world.


This week I am letting go of a home and an identity.

This week, I am embracing a new and ancient adventure back into the heartlands of my ancestors, human and more than human.


Let me explain.


Last Friday, I did something radical.

I took the weekend off.


I can’t remember the last time I embraced a 48 hr period for myself and simply allowed the Universe to lead me deeper into the mystery of my story. No work, no writing, no watching things on tech. Just being and listening.


Saturday unfolded quietly and I reveled in being up North in Cumbria. The wild hills and deep red rivers soothed me, and I was embraced back into the arms of Nature and all her wisdom.


Then as I sat with my back to a giant Ash, I felt an urge rise within my belly for an unplanned adventure. I was close to one of the most stunning stone circles in England, Castlerigg. I hadn’t been there for over 15 years and as I listened to its voice on the fell winds, I knew that it was time to reacquaint myself with its beauty and its mystery. I resolved to rise early the next day and journey there to see what I would find.


As I suspected, I woke before dawn and rose, dressing in warm clothes and making myself a flask of coffee as I headed out the door. The pre-dawn hills were alluring in the extreme as I drove towards the Northern Lakes and I allowed my senses to come alive, feeling the Earth energies that I was following.


My early start allowed me the luxury of being the first human person in the circle that day. As I parked my car and took a moment to drink in the beauty of the bowl of mountains that this circle sits within, I slowly made my way over the stones that were beckoning me like old friends.


The sun had started to rise above the Eastern hills, and I stopped for a moment, my hand reaching to greet a stone person and feel the sense of vibration, humming in this place. The clouds above me took the form of winged beings and I sensed a welcome from every part of existence as I honoured them in return.


Sitting down, I closed my eyes (which was hard given the splendour unfolding all around me) and connected to the sense of place. A warm loving sensation was rising up my spine and making my energy body spin. I felt deeply at home and even more deeply loved. I was at peace.


Then a knowing emerged from my heart.

It was something that brought joy and grief in equal measure.

A voice inside and outside of me asked me a question and I knew my answer before it even formed into words.


Will you come here?

Will you be here with us?

Will you return to a home – here – now?


A tear rolled down my face as I recognised death and life in equal measure unfolding in this moment.



My heart said yes.


So as I now sit here and write this knowing, committing it to word and therefore form, I know that I am returning to the North of England. The place of my ancestors and a home I have known and will know again.


In doing so, I am leaving Avebury.

I am leaving the identity of being a guardian of its magic.

I am dying to an old part of my life.

And this brings grief.



The death of one story, always holds within its arms the birth of another one that has gifts and blessings for us, yet we must honour the passing of the old.


And this is a continual cycle of evolution.


Death and birth are simply two sides of the same eternal coin.

Or spiral.


We are asked to love and honour each and every moment.

Because each moment contains death and life.


Each choice creates endings and beginnings.


Our world is a reflection of this microcosm and we are asked to embrace the Me, the We and the All in everything we are and everything we do.



Death and life are two sides to the same coin.

And its name is life.


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