A few months ago, I stopped writing.
Just stopped.
I hadn’t planned it.
I had no excuses.
The Universe didn’t give me any answers as to why.
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Here in the North, the trees are bursting.
The birds are singing at dawn.
And the Spring waters are flowing.
In us all.
In ALL.
When I was a child, my mother would teach my sisters and I to ‘walk in a sacred way’.
What did this mean?
The answer is not simple.
In fact, it’s one that each one of us must feel into as we move through life on Earth.
At this time of year, many of us who were brought up around the Cristian tradition are very familiar with the symbol of Christ surrendered on the cross.
Crucifixion, an agonising thought for many of us, has started to change shape, form and meaning for me in these last few years.
The ‘opening of the mouth’ ceremony is an ancient Egyptian death rite.
At least, that’s the accepted story.
It is of course far more nuanced and complex than this.
The times we are all living in require radical courage.
Coupled with humble discernment.
In a world where ‘truth’ has become subjective and story distorted on every level, we are asked to disconnect from all sources that would confuse and distract us from what is important.
When you roll the word ‘truth’ around in your head, what does it mean to you?
Where does ‘truth’ reside in your experience of the world?
Is truth something that you receive from ‘trusted’ outside sources, experts, or research.
Or is it something that you find deep inside of your own experience?
Or perhaps both?
How many times must we be reborn in one life?
Over a decade ago when I was stood at the brink of a cliff that would see my whole life transform from the outside-in, I would have told you that this kind of ‘dark night of the soul’ rebirth only comes rarely.
Perhaps known as a ‘midlife crisis’ or an ‘empty-nester meltdown’, we are taught that these major life transitions only come once in a while. Perhaps 2-3 times if we live that long.
Yet these days when ‘black swan’ events seem to happen every other week, I appear to be restorying my narrative.
Last night I was the Universe.
All of it.
Whole and complete.
Perfect.
Last night I was in ceremony, celebrating life.
All of it.
Even its darkness.
Last night knew myself to be in communion.
With everyone and everything.
All of it.
Now and forever.
How easy is it to say, ‘listen to your heart’?
Yet doing so is often fraught with challenges.
Change is happening all the time.
Moment to moment, second to second.
Sometimes we notice it and sometimes we don’t.
Especially when we feel stuck, trapped or in a Groundhog Day loop.
But change is inevitable and absolute.
A Universal force of evolutionary momentum.
The world is constantly in motion.
Thus, things are always changing.
Transformation is constant and never ending.
The alchemical principle of vibration tells us that nothing ever rests and that everything is in a cycle of change and transformation.
“Nothing rests; everything moves; everything vibrates.”
The great Third Hermetic Principle–the Principle of Vibration–embodies the truth that motion is manifest in everything in the Universe–that nothing is at rest–that everything moves, vibrates, and circles.
The Kyballion
Commitment.
Ever since I was a little girl that word has made me buck like a wild horse and gallop away from the thing that was asking for me to stay as fast as I could.
For me, commitment seemed very final.
Like a trap that radically reduced my options as soon as it was in place.
I would gallop away from jobs, from homes, from relationships.
From anything that seemed to place a bridal on my ability to move away at speed when I needed to.
Or perhaps ‘need’ is the wrong word here in this context.
‘Want’ would have been better.
Have you ever heard the phrase “there is never a careless word uttered”?
Well, I was brought up in a family that fed me on a diet of Greek, Egyptian and Native American mythology from age 2 onwards, so was very aware of the power that words must create when spoken with conviction.
In many of these ancient stories, the hero or heroine would seek out, learn, and utter words of power that would literally have the ability to change the world.
Stories form the fabric of our world.
They are the underlying meaning making structure by which culture and societies either thrive or decline.
To tell stories is one thing.
To make them come alive is another.
Home is something that we all long for and very few ever find, truly.
Some people like me, have always known a place that they define as home.
Others spend their entire lives searching for it.
For me, the concept of home has expanded and now has multiple layers and textures.
So much is changing.
In some ways it always has.
But the change of our age is now perceptible and powerful.
And it is up to each one of us to decide how we wish to play a part in The Great Turning.
Sacred ground is a way of life, not a destination
It is not a time but infinite
All who reside here are eternal
Our divine path inevitable
Together we are one being
Living in a myriad of forms
Everyone wants to climb the mountain
Within us we carry a deep desire to ascend
To climb higher
To see beyond that which we currently know
Yet the real gold is to be found below
The mountain is silent this morning.
A soft ‘kiss’ of snow is falling outside, covering the land in an icy, moist white shawl.
It’s a delicate snow – like fine silk caressing the skin of the Earth.
Like frozen mist.
And this watery kiss is most needed in Colorado.
A short distance down the mountain, wildfires are blazing. The Winter season has been unusually dry and warm, leaving the land parched and prone to combust at the slightest spark.
It strikes me that this situation is an apt environmental mirror for the stressed being experienced in the social ecosystem too. Indeed, the two are inextricably linked.
Today is New Year’s Eve and we are approaching the end of 2021.
A year in which we were put to the test in terms of how we chose to respond and restory the challenges that unfolded around us at every level.
It was a relentless year where it seemed at times as though we would never get a break from the external pressure. Of course, this fed the internal pressures we experienced, and it became less about ‘what’ was happening out there and more about ‘how’ we each responded to it that mattered.
I don’t know anyone this year who has not yet been touched by the fires of fear and anger.
Nor by the sense of swirling confusion and anxiety that wild water brings.
I certainly was.
But there were times when I was able to lift above the seeming battlefield of my life and get a glimpse of a bigger pattern at play. Rare times when I would find peace and relax into a knowing that there was a bigger story playing out on the Earth.
The story of evolution?
Perhaps.
A friend reminded me this morning that the last European Renaissance was birthed amid a pandemic.
That made me smile.
As I have said many times, humans appear to need extreme pressure to evolve and transform.
Unless our home is burning down, we find multiple excuses to continue with the status quo and make uncomfortable and outgrown situations habitable.
Albeit unhealthy.
Unless we are at risk of being swept away in the flood of chaos, we rarely stop to consider how our personal and collective choices are fuelling our crisis.
So, on this eve of a new year, it seemed a good time to stop and contemplate how I was responding to my internal fire and water after the outer world reminded me of the power of these elemental forces.
As I reflect on 2021, there have been many times when I allowed myself to be consumed by the flames of my fears and downed in anxiety and depression of situations that seemed to be so far out of my control.
I burned for many nights, waking up in the darkness to the noise of my own fear stories.
I dissolved into the hopelessness of a world that appeared to be unfolding in sharp contrast to the beauty and unity I was aspiring to and dreaming of.
And yet, I also rose to the elevated states of fire and water.
I set fire to my fears, releasing them so I could feel elation and the warmth of an open, compassionate heart.
I released my expectations and drifted with the flow of my life, allowing myself to love, to feel and to embrace whatever and whoever showed up in my life.
I entered again and again into trust that there is an ancient more than human story playing out across our world and that we each have a vital role to play in its unfolding.
More than all of that, I surrendered completely into love.
Love of myself, my friends, my family, and my beloved.
Love of my work, my calling, and my destiny.
2022 when added together comes to 6 (2+2+2).
In numerology 6 is the number of love, community and responsibility.
The 6th card in any traditional tarot deck is The Lovers – it represents the internal marriage between polarities and opposites. Between masculine and feminine. Between light and dark.
My mother who is a skilled numerologist will tell you that the elements associated with 6 are fire and water. The union of opposites and the fusion of two different elements into a third mystical state.
There is much to say on this and if you are intrigued, you can find out more here (https://www.beyond-reach.co.uk/numerology).
I believe that we are all being invited to enter 2022 with the hearts cracked open to love and the sacred responsibility that comes with this.
To embrace seeming opposites and fuse polarities such as bad/good, light/dark, male/female within ourselves so that we can find unity and harmony in the outer world.
As within, so without as the ancient alchemists always say.
2022 is a year where we get to harness the power of fire and water in our lives and choose to embrace their higher transformative aspects.
So, I sit here on the mountain, watching the snow.
Being grateful for all I am and all that I have experienced.
And trusting that a new and love filled story is about to unfold.
Because I am surrendered to it.
Blessings on your New Year my friends.
May we all have wonderful adventures together as we move into the year of love in 2022.
“Love is the core and foundation of ALL”
Words of a prayer that I speak into being every day.
Rest in my arm’s dear child
Rest in love for that is the language of Nature
That is the language of the Cosmos
Love is the deep language beyond all words
Beyond all form
And yet embedded in every form
Rest
For peace is the nature of love
It’s foundation
Without peace we cannot hear love’s words
Its subtle essences and commands
Peace is the very thing the human world has been created to despise
I have had the honour in the last week to have come down with a mild case of COVID.
Honour you say?
Yes.
What do we do when we can no longer see the light?
What happens to us when we no longer feel like we have any control over our lives?
Depression?
Anxiety?
Fear?
Yes – undoubtedly.
All of these things and more.
Yet there is also something else.
Moon magic
The great celestial Queen
Mystery embodied
Illuminating the parts of us unseen
For as long as I have been alive, I have felt ‘bigger’ than my body.
For as long as I have walked this Earth, I have known that I AM infinite.
For as long as life has existed, I have been a part of all that is.
For we are not just human.
We are divine.
We are a part of every molecule in existence.
And every atom that is yet to be.
What would you say if someone told you that you were wise?
Would you believe them?
Would you call yourself ‘wise’?
Not many of us would.
And yet each one of us weaves wisdom through our lives.
There are times when we burn.
We make outer fires warm us. To feed us. To nurture us.
We make inner fires to transform us.
To heal us. And to clear old, stagnant energy systems.
When we make inner fire, we enter the flames to heal.
To whole. To resurrect. To renew.
And there are many kinds of fire.
The darkness gathers
We breathe into the oncoming sleep
The life currents are slowing
We are asked to weep
Not for grief you understand
But to let everything go
We cannot take the past with us
All the old stories must go
The cosmic void awaits
Our courageous leap
Our souls in her hands
The great mother keeps
For the time to begin anew
Has come
No fear can exist
When we live as if we are one
Can you let go?
Of all you have known.
Of all you have been?
Of all the stories you thought you were here to live.
The days of everything working out according to our plans appear to be over.
The times we are living in are defined by what my friends in the sustainability world would describe as VUCA.
Volatile
Uncertain
Chaotic and
Ambiguous
Just when we think we might be able to see a clear way ahead, it feels as if the Universe then comes and drop kicks that ‘plan’ into oblivion and we are left once again in the void of not knowing.
The light is fading.
As we approach the time of deep Winter in the Northern hemisphere, we are cocooned in darkness.
But darkness is not what we once thought it was.
As a new perspective on life emerges between us in these times of challenge where seeming polarities are fusing.
We are starting to see that what we once defined as ‘bad’ or ‘good’, ‘light’ or ‘dark’ are simply two sides of the same coin.
We cannot separate things as we once did.
This is the gift of chaos.
Can you feel something changing?
Can you?
Can you smell something new on the wind?
Have you stopped to notice?
Change is a Universal Law.
So is harmony.
Radical rebellion in times of massive social transformation is often unseen.
It stems from subtle actions that form the fabric of a new way of being.
It goes without saying that we have been living through intense times of stress and change.
Yet humans have always needed this pressure to force evolution.
This week I offer a prayer that flows from the heart of the waters of our planet.
I offer a prayer in honour of the water that flows through our human bodies as blood.
I offer a prayer to the element of flow that facilitates evolution in our Universe.
I offer a prayer to the waters of life
When was the last time you had a ‘private’ conversation with yourself?
You know – the secret ones that you would never wish to share with anyone else.
The ones where you stand naked in front of your inner mirror and admit all the things that you think inside but deny even to yourself?
These are the dialogues that change your world.
Cyclical.
Rhythmic.
Eternal.
Life itself is a spiral.
One that we dance around again and again.
The same lessons romance us into relatedness with the elements of transformation that appear in the form of people, places, projects, dreams.
All so that we can experience our inner worlds reflected in the outer mirror.
The Earth School.
Life as the curriculum.
This morning I woke up before the sun.
Darkness covered the land, and the night creatures were still going about their business.
Moving quietly so as not to disturb, I found my way to a special place in our garden where I could watch the sun rise over the hills.
We seem to be surrounded by death right now.
Death of people.
Death of social systems.
Death of environments.
Truly, the death of stories in so many ways.
Yet as we all know, death is an intimate and essential part of life on Earth.
Change is another word for death.
This week I have been offline adventuring with my husband.
He is a master in this art – as am I.
It is one of the things that brings us closer every time we embark off into the unknown together.
Adventure is an art.
If you were to take a guess for a moment of how much of your life story (and therefore experiences) were created by your mind, what would you say?
Trick here – it’s your mind that will give you the first answer.
Laughable really.
Now stop.
Take a deep breath.
In fact, take as many as you need to relax (this may take a lot longer than you would expect).
Now ask that question again and this time notice how you feel.
Yes FEEL.
In times of massive transition, I have come to recognise the voice of my body as an integral guide.
It is a voice we often ignore or drown out in distraction.
It speaks in feelings, dis-comfort, dis-ease and erratic sleeping patterns.
It also tells us when we are ‘on track’ by manifesting synchronicity, joy and miracles.
The voice of my body is ancient and carries within it the wisdom and lessons of my ancestors.
It carries in its DNA and cell’s the potential of my future ones.
My body is an incredible instrument of divine will.
I am a day late writing this.
This week has been a whirlpool of work, outer world noise and stories all clamouring for my attention.
Yesterday, I felt all the competing deadlines swirling around me like currents in the every changing trajectory of the global river.
And yet still managed to keep my head above the water.
In fact it was actually exhilarating (for the most part).
A bit like rafting on rapids.
Years ago I spent my first ever day alone on the land at Sacred Ground.
I have written many times about this special place, and you can find out more here (https://www.sacredgroundintl.org/).
During this day, I was met by many beings of many races.
The Coyote tribe came to visit me, dancing past where I was meditating and stopping within a few meters for a moment to greet me as I smiled right back.
The Eagle beings flew over my head throughout the day as I passed the hours in contemplation of my life and soul commitment on Earth.
The Buffalo family came to see me, whilst staying half an acre distant so as not to alarm me with their numbers and the force of their love.
My Pine siblings gathered in circle with me and our Aspen cousins, offering the embrace of their leafy arms to shield me from the burning radiance of the midday sun.
I was one with the ecosystem of Earth and I felt in harmony.
That was until the sun started to set.
Do you believe in fate?
What about destiny?
Or freewill?
All tricky concepts in the world right now when so much in our outer sphere’s appear to be spiralling ‘out of our control’.
Or are they?
Today, I broke camp in the wilds of Wales where I have been playing with my family for a week. It has been a joy sleeping on the land for 7 nights and allowing my body, mind, and soul to adjust to the natural rhythms of the elements of life.
I have found that I slept more deeply and fully.
I ate less and enjoyed my food more.
My emotions have settled into a smooth tempo where the crests and dips of the waves are rolling and flowing naturally – never getting stuck nor heavy. Like the waves of the ocean at play.
Natural rhythm, natural law.
I stand here in the kitchen of what has been my home for the last 9 years (on and off).
When I came to Avebury, I assumed I would live here for the rest of my days, as magical and ancient as it is.
Yet the Universe had other plans for me.
The Universe always does.
Does anyone else feel like they are living in a hall of mirrors lately?
In fact, over the last year, it has become increasingly obvious to me that the Universe around us is reflecting back in the molecular structure of our lives the very beliefs, stories and thinking that we are consciously or unconsciously allowing to exist in our fields.
What is it that you most long for in your life?
I wonder if it’s the same as me.
The same as most beings actually.
Connection.
Love.
Belonging.
What are you currently held back by?
I can guarantee it’s a story of your own making.
But when did you make it a reality lens for you?
In the past?
Right.
This week I have been walking in one of the most powerful places of truth teaching in the world. It asks us to enter here with respect for ourselves and all of life. The essence energy demands nothing less than a complete surrender to our soul and our journey.
There is no running away
There is no hiding
Anything that is not complete love must fall away
And it is here that we come to rest in the very place that most of us have longed to return to most of our lives.